Ding dong the blog is dead...

Out of recognition that almost nobody reads here anymore because I let the blog lapse, I think it is time to wrap up Broken Jigsaw Puzzle. But in keeping with my history of playing "musical blogs" I am going to set up a new blog. I have a few reasons for doing this. The main one being I want to do more serious writing. That just wasn't happening on here. And it may not happen on the new blog either, to be honest. But I have been hanging out with writers and trying to make a more concentrated effort to write in a better and more meaningful way. And maybe even due to the fact that I think I have changed a lot as a person over the past year, it just seems the right time. I appreciate all those who have read and offered me so much support here and in my many previous blog incarnations. Thank you for your friendship. I hope you will join me at the new blog. And also tell your friends to stop by because I am starved for readers lol. The name is terrible. I just couldn't find a name because apparently every single possible blog name has already been taken. But given that "strikhedonia" means something along the lines of "the pleasure of saying the hell with everything" and its almost 2010, it seemed an acceptable compromise. And more importantly, the name was available. And then this time next year, I can start another blog with 2011. Or something like that.
http://strikhedonia2010.wordpress.com

Exam is now set up with the instructor and he even found me an office in his department where I can write it and he can pop in to see if I need help. So that takes care of that. About the assignments I still don't know.

Gift cards it will have to be as I just don't have it in me to go out Christmas shopping. Last night the 7 year old daughter of a friend brought over some chocolate cupcakes she baked herself, her mom only helping with the icing. She didn't know if I liked candy canes so so put them on 6 and left 6 plain. It was such a thoughtful gift I thought I would cry. I really wished I could have hugged her.



I am not over the holiday blahs. I have been avoiding my family and friends. Maybe I will get out of this funk in the new year.

Further Update

I am writing the final exam on January 4th or 5th. The rest of my class wrote yesterday morning. Now that we have a date I need to find a suitable room. Classes don't start until the 6th so it shouldn't be a problem. This gives me some time to see how much longer the professor is going to play hardball with the assignment grading question.

In other news I think my gall bladder is all messed up. I feel like complete crap. I am hoping to get in to see my doctor tomorrow.

Part 3

Progress report on the course:

The good news: the professor has agreed to give me an incomplete grade and write the final exam when I am able to. He is being a bit pissy about me giving him an exact day and time I will write it, which at the moment is a bit impossible. But at least that takes care of one issue.

The semi-good news: he is "considering" marking my late assignments for grades. Which is huge step forward from where he was last week. He is still screwing around with me by not coming to a final decision about it. Which I don't really understand but I am going to chalk up to the fact that he and I seem to be engaged in some weird power struggle. I have already decided that if he refuses, I will follow up with the ombudsman for the student's association and look into filing an official complaint. Because even though our agreement on the extensions was verbal, we did have one.

The nasty part: in order to protect myself should I need to file an official complaint (which I really really don't want to do), I am not going to write my final exam until I know what he has decided about the assignments. Once I write the final exam, I will lose any chance to appeal to the Registrar for a late withdrawal. So progress on the exam front, but we are still stuck on different plains of understanding when it comes to the assignments.

About the disability coordinator, I will say that she did finally step up and talk to the professor on Monday. Her reading of the situation is that it was a big miscommunication. And while I agree to a certain extent that might be the case, I am not really comfortable with that. She is now claiming she never got what turns out to be the key email where I told her I wasn't getting the accomodations I had been approved for. And while that would explain a great deal, it doesn't really explain why she never bothered to answer the 5 or so subsequent emails I sent. Sigh. Although the reality is that what happened isn't really the issue of concern right now. More important is the course grade itself. However I may come back and follow up with what happened because I think I fell through a very large crack here. And I shouldn't have. The school has very clear policies about accomodation for disability. And the fact remains I provided my documentation as required and my needs, which all were very reasonable, were not met. Saying it was merely a miscommuncation seems a cop out.

But all that aside, the disability coordinator did initially agree to set up a meeting for this week between herself, the professor, and me. Which I think would have been a good thing. If for no other reason than to educate them both a bit on why these accomodations are needed if I am going to get through my courses. But with -30 temperatures, I couldn't leave my house. So she phoned him on Monday and at least now we are moving forward with some way to get me through the course. Although he is still being more difficult about it than he really needs to be.

Appealing to the Registrar to give me a late withdrawal is still a possibility. I think I have more than enough email proof that I tried to get myself through the course with virtually no support. And in the end, my spinal cord injury just made it impossible to do on my own. Which just sucks but is reality.

In other news I am still undecided on a Christmas tree. And have done no shopping. Or mailing. I suck.

The saga continues

Well....

I tried again today to communicate with the Disability Coordinator by email. She replied by only with platitudes like "oh my, you must be so stressed! Would a trip to the University's counselling services help?" and "I hope you find a solution and it all works out."

WTF????

At this point I completely lost control and wrote back saying if she wasn't willing or able to help me in terms of providing advocacy and helping with accomodations (which is exactly what the University pays her to do--although I wisely left part this out), could she please refer me to somebody who could.

She then wrote back saying she was willing to help all semester but waiting for direction from me.

Again WTF????

She has done nothing but blow me off email after email, all semester long. When she did reply it was never anything helpful or supportive--the reason I ended up appealing to the professor in person.

Anyways after I requested the name of somebody who might help, she suggested if I wanted a late withdrawal I would need to appeal to the Registrar of the University but that he would likely require "substantial medical documentation" before doing so. She then again wished me "good luck."

I looked on the agreement of service that I had signed when I registered with Disability Services and "arranging late course withdraws if necessary" was listed as a service provided. So I wrote her back--being remarkably diplomatic considering I wanted to rip her head off--and suggested I would just refer the Registrar to her regarding medical documentation, since she had personally recieved the 15 page (literally) document that my doctor was required to fill out verifying my disability and how it impacted my enrollment in classes.

Wow, this thinly veiled threat seemed to work magic as within 3 minutes of sending that email I got a reply where she stated at least three times she was here "to support" me. She also wrote how "happy" she was that I wanted her to liasion with the professor and that she would set up a meeting between the three of us for next week if that was what I wanted.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry about this reply.

I really could write a book, couldn't I? Sigh.

I haven't yet replied to her email. I need a day or so to think about it. Trying to get the late withdrawal would likely be the less headache-prone of my choices. But I don't know how compassionate the Registrar is. I do personally know him, although not very well, as I used to work at the university. He is a generally very nice and laid back guy. He actually was part of a 4 person interview panel for a job interview I had once. I didn't get the job but he praised my interview afterward. But he also worked in a very different capacity at the University back then (coordinator of International Education). Any time I our paths crossed professionally it was a positive interaction. However he is now a big wig with lots of power. And I have never had to deal with him about something so personal. So I don't know how it might all play out.

How the hell do I get myself into these situations? Really.

Pardon my language but my programming professor has completely fucked me over.

After I met with him in his office he told me I could take some extra time to get my assignments done. And stupid me didn't get it in writing.

He has now renegged on this--after I handed in my last 3 assignments. All late but none overly so. He says he will mark them but he "can't" give me a grade. He can. He just won't.

On top of this, the Disability Services Coordinator who tripped over herself to help me in the spring semester is doing dick all to help now. With anything. I couldn't arrange to get a room where I can write my final exam in isolation with a scribe. She has no more appointments open for the rest of the school year. She won't return my emails. And the office staff have treated me like a piece of shit when I have physically gone and tried to find out who might help me. This office is supposed to liason with the instructors about accomodations. I never should have had to go and cry and beg in the first place for extensions. Now I need a late withdrawal from the course or an extension on my final exam, not because of the screwed over assignments, but because I can't go outside because of the weather. But guess who is the only person who can effect this? Yes the Disability Services Coordinator.

I spent up to 7 hours a day on that course. All I have done for the past week is work on my final assignment. And when I asked him why he wouldn't accept it, he said it was because he already went over the assignment in class and posted the answers before I handed it in. In effect, suggesting I cheated. I wasn't at that class and I didn't even know he had the code posted.

I give up. It shouldn't be this hard just to take a stupid class.

I managed to make it to the last day of class. Well tomorrow is technically the last day but thankfully the professor cancelled the last lab as we had already covered all the material. Tonight I have just about finished my last assignment for the class. I had 3 to do on Sunday morning and I got them all done. And 1 out of the 3 even works properly! Out of 10 assignments, the last one is the only one that actually worked. And it is also worth less than the others :( But it is all written and tested. All that is left is the documentation. And since I have been working on it most of the day, I am leaving and finishing it in the morning. I checked my grade online and so far, with about 42% of my grade remaining with the 3 assignments to be marked and the final exam, I am sitting at 59%. Which normally would appall me. But right now I am thrilled with that grade. The final is a week from today.

The weather has improved. To -15. Still bitterly cold but at least my windows no longer are sealed shut with an inch of ice.

I am exhausted. Good riddance once this course is done.

It is minus 30 celcius here and not expected to warm up before Friday at the earliest. Which means I likely will not be going to school next week. Or anywhere else. Sigh.

I have an enormous pile of overdue assignments. But after weeks of being very unproductive due to some fatigue and concentration issues, I am finally getting stuff done today. I finished off one assignment that was half done (overdue #1). I am now about 75% through another assignment (overdue #2). Then I have to start a third assignment that is due tomorrow. This class has had a ridiculous amount of work. Or else I am just very slow lol. Maybe a combination of both. The good news is I am finally understanding things today. Which I really wasn't before. Progress!

The downside is that the code I am writing isn't really doing what it is supposed to. Not good.

About the LSAT: I am waiting to hear if there is a re-write date or if I have to wait until the next sitting in February. If it is the latter, I doubt I will write it. After getting thumped in this programming course, I no longer have much interest or desire in law school. But studying for the LSAT was a good experience. It might help me elsewhere.

I was supposed to write the LSAT today. But I freak storm yesterday dumped a foot of snow, the roads are undriveable, and the temperatures too low to risk me going outside.

No LSAT :(

I gave a class presentation yesterday. I was very nervous but it went pretty good. Several people told me it was the best out of the whole class. I thought yesterday was the last day of classes and had been slacking. Apparenty the last day isn't until December 10. Oops.

Went to Zoolights on Wednesday :-)

So I do continue to feel bad about the bird's nest in my van's engine. My dad cleaned it out and there was no signs the bird that built it ever used it. But still...

It is Grey Cup Sunday in Canada. Which is like the equal, albeit on a much much much smaller scale of Super Bowl Sunday. But still, apparently, a reason for a national drinking party. Which I don't quite get why people who care nothing about football suddenly get excited over one game. But oh well. My dad was having a few people over to watch the game but I declined the invite. I am tired and grumpy today. And trying to get caught up on 3 assignments. One more week of classes. Then the final. And likely an F. Thursday was the withdraw date. Why didn't I withdraw?

In other news, I looked at a spanking red TV at a store the other day while I was loitering, waiting on the pharmacists to fix my messed up order. We had a small argument about it and now I am looking for a new pharmacy as this is like the 100th mess up in the past year. But more than that, I thought she was unnecessarily rude to me. The drama never ends. I gave this pharmacy another chance after briefly going to Walmart then feeling guilty for being pumping more money into Walmart at the expense of an independent local store. But I think I will go back to Walmart. Anyways I am sidetracked here--because I am still mad at the pharmacist and can't let it go, apparently--but I saw a pretty, bright RED tv and since my current bedroom TV is on the fritz and I am depressed and buying something will misguidedly cheer me up momentarily, I am going to get the TV tomorrow I have decided.

Crazy!

Found under the hood of my van this morning. Considering it gets driven nearly every day when I go to school and just took me 1300 km roudtrip 2 weekends ago I went to my cousin's wedding, it is amazing there hasn't been a fire.

School continues to consume all my time and has me on the verge of a meltdown most days it seems. 2 more weeks of classes then the final. I joked to a friend today in an email that next semester I won't be taking anything related to programming but instead will enroll in something like the history of furniture--which is a course that is offered. He cautioned me that the mixing of furniture eras might be intense. So I am now unsure what to enroll in. I really must find myself a program to register in as academic drifting, as appealing as it seemed at the beginning of this semester, is clearly not working for me. Since I enjoyed my art history course in the spring so much--and more importantly it didn't break my brain as my attempts to learn C++ is doing--I think I will just go back to that for the winter term.

I have had a difficult time getting the accomodations I require. Something that has me confused as in the spring it was no issue. I suspect the Accessibility Office is understaffed and therefore I might not be the only one falling through the cracks. But the lack of support has made this semester much more difficult than it needed to be. Finally after realizing I was either going to have to withdraw the course or risk a very real chance of getting an F, I decided to go see the professor. Which was not an easy decision as I have found him somewhat difficult to deal with. I had sent him a few emails earlier in the semester explaining that I was falling behind and wondering if there was a way to salvage the course. He replied to them all, but somewhat in a somewhat bizarre fashion, managed to always ignore my concerns and reply about things that had nothing to do with what I had just written.

But last week, I finally decided to go and see him in his office and appeal to him for some brief extensions. And while I admit that I am a terrible slacker and in the past have possibly abused the goodwill of extensions granted to me, in this case I honestly required them. I have been working my butt off in the course. And I have never gotten such bad greats for such a big effort lol. My meeting with the prog turned out to be a good thing, although it nearly turned into a disaster when I broke down and started crying. I think he was so appalled that he would have agreed to any accomodations or extensions just to get me to stop. Or to get me out of his office :/ We did come to an agreement, although he did try to encourage me to withdraw and try the course again next semester, but told me I could continue to come to class and get help from him. I haven't yet decided what to do. But for now I am going to continue. He is a good guy and I have to take back some cursing I did about him when he didn't seem to be understanding my emails. I think I just had to go make the connection in person. I should have done it earlier in the semester. I may not be sitting at 52% if I had. Oh well.

I am not very good at keeping this updated, again....

No much exciting going on. About 3 more weeks of classes then I will have some free time to procrastinate with again.

Today my cat ate half a chicken ceasar salad when nobody was looking.

This weekend I went away on a female retreat thing. Long story but my sister and I went along with 10 other women. I have never done anything like this before. And I won't again. I don't know if there is something wrong with me but I really just don't do the whole female bonding thing well. Frankly, I spent most of the weekend annoyed at everybody. One thing that struck me is that most of the participants (married with an average of two children) spent most of the weekend talking about how relaxing it was to get a break from their husbands and children. They look forward to these two weekends (the retreats are held in the spring and fall) as a massive escape/chance to relax/take a break from their everyday lives. And maybe because having a husband and children are foreign concepts to me, I can't truly understand. But I can say it made me relieved that I don't have said husband or children.

Not to be all negative, there were good things about the weekend. We stayed at a lovely bed and breakfast in the mountains and it was mostly accessible for me. The food was good. There was booze. But I honestly felt like I was 13 again and at a slumber party. I don't want to go to another one of these retreats and watch chick flicks, talk about sex, eat chocolate, get a pedicure. I can't handle it lol.

I wonder if I should be kicked out of the sisterhood of being a woman?

My programming course is consuming all my time. Thankfully only about 6 weeks left. I must be a sadist or something because I registered for the second part of the course for the January semester.

Did I say I was going to post more? And then I didn't :(

We got hit with some very cold weather and that seemed to sap my already sagging energy. I am not sure why I am so tired but it seems that is my chronic way of being lately. Although to be fair, lots has been going on, with all the travelling I did, some health stuff, going back to school, moving into the condo, moving out of the condo, moving back into the condo. I think I am just worn out. And the bitter cold weather didn't help.

It's warmer now but winter is for sure on its way :(

I don't yet really have any pictures of my condo, mostly because it doesn't feel yet like my home. I was telling a friend in an email today that I felt like I was living in a fancy hotel. Not so much because of the interior of my unit, which is far from fancy lol. But the hallways, with the mirrored elevator and fancy furniture, makes it feel that way to me. Perhaps it will pass. But I don't know.

It's also a bit weird living in a place where everybody is my grandparent's age. I don't want to come off as ageist here so I want to point out that I don't have anything against living in a "plus 55 building" (what a term!) but I definately feel out of place. But the reality is, at least in the part of the building I live in, I think it's more like "plus 75." It's also been very awkward because, well because of just how things are for me. Everybody is nice here, wants to help anyway they can, many have shown concern for me when they see me in the hallway--if I am feeling okay, if I am warm enough, if I am comfortable, if I need anything. It's all very sweet. But makes me feel so very self conscious. I am guessing it might settle down after I have lived her for some time. But for now, I am definately a novelty. It's not a great feeling.

I wish I could post more, write more. But I am just very tired overall, it seems. I am busy with school. I dropped down to one class from two but it's tiring. Although I like it. I am finally moved into my new condo. I'll try to update more often.

sorry I am way far behind again on replying to comments left on here and emails and even phone calls. Just a crazy couple of weeks. Like riding a roller coaster drunk or something. I am doing okay. Good and bad days but doing okay. I hope everybody is doing okay too.

I made it to Vancouver in one piece. It's far from easy or routine but there were not major disasters before, during, or after the flight itself. I still really hate flying but I guess I am becoming a pro by now. Not really but this time things went as good as could be hoped for.

The flight was less than an hour but we got to the hotel very late. With the exception of a few weeks in August and the beginning of this month, I have been on the road since the end of June. I will be happy when its over and I can just be home for some time without thinking ahead to travelling, which while I am greatful I can do it, is exhausting and stressful.

I slept last night. No Wikipedia or Farmville.